At the end of each show, two men, both called Ian, with bushy beards and thick jumpers, are trying to set a world record but end up not meeting the requirements.
- "Bean bath", but they only have one tin of beans.
- "World's Tallest Man", size of top hat not included, unfortunately.
- "Hard-Boiled Egg-Eating", Ian eats a bowlful in seconds, however Ian accidentally resets the stopwatch. Furthermore, unbeknown to them, the Guinness Book of World Records doesn't allow eating records.
- "Smoking" record attempt, where they are unable to find a lighter.
- "House of Cards" attempt, where they decline to read the rules regarding Sellotape.
- "World's Smallest Ant" attempt, where they are unable to find the ant.
- "Largest Mince Pie" attempt, where after making a large pie they find it will not fit in the oven.
- "Most People in a Mini", An incredible five out of 16 people (all with beards, regardless of age or gender) manage the attempt, but they run out of seats.